Sunday, June 13, 2010
Assignment 1.13 - Using Transitions
For starters, lets talk about how college students are trying to work full time jobs to assure payments of bills (car payments, insurance, rent, credit cards, etc) while also attending college full time or even part time. College students who work full time jobs or even part time jobs seem to struggle with juggling both work and school. For example; "I work from 7a-3p than again from 3:30p to 8:30p, to than go home and work on school work until I cant seem to concentrate any longer". In this example you can see that I have to accomplish many steps; First, I have to work at my day job, Second I have to work at a part time job, Third, I have to work on school work, Fourth, I have to still somehow manage to have a life in between all this, and Fifth, I must also assure that I am getting enough rest to be able to function. When college students need to work so much, I think that it interferes with the way they complete school work. I think that you could compare a full time college student to a full time worker and see how they both feel at the end of the day. I bet that if you compared them together, they were both equally tired at the end of the day with the only difference being a paycheck and a grade. On the other hand, I truly do believe that a person could go to school full time and also work a part time job and still be able to juggle both with a little bit of free time, compared to one that works full time, attends school full time, and struggles immensely to juggle both things.I think that everyone differs from another individual but in most times, its clear that people who work and people who study college work feel very overwhelmed no matter what the circumstances are, however do have perfectly clear reasons of why they feel they must do so much.
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I had a hard time counting eight transitions here, but it could be due to my lack of caffeine, or because I am unfamiliar with all the potential ways to word them. The ones I did see were great though, I especially like the way you handled the step transition. You also picked a really interesting subject to discuss. Before I started school I thought it would be easy to have a job and study at the same time, but now I know different! I think college students sometimes get a reputation for being interested in parties only, which is a shame really because so many students work really hard.
ReplyDeleteI found myself finding it very hard to find a subject to write about that could include all eight different transitions, so I am impressed your subject choice fit nicely. I like the flow of your paragraph and the subject you chose that we all can connect with and understand.
ReplyDeleteRickie-
ReplyDeleteGreat way to use transitions, to describe a hot topic like this one. I find myself wishing for hours in the day just to find the time to get everything done. Till recently I worked full time and attending classes full time. Leaving no time for my family to see me. But in order to pay for school you need to work. So its unavoidable that we work and go to school. Some people are able to reduce hours but most of us can not due to house, car, ulities, they we must pay each month. Its a never ending cycle.
But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Keep thinking that and we will survive.
Thank you for a great thought provoking topic.
I like the way you are very thorough with your step transition. You got down right to the intro with to start with, which I like because it leads into what sounds like something you are about to convey that you know a lot about.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you transitioned the sentences in you essay. The way you creatively weaved all the transitions in makes me think its possible to even write one of these now that I have seen how a good one is written. I have done both the full time work and the full time school think. In my opinion the full time school is harder than full time work. The only exception I have found is if you have a job that is physically exerting and you need to be able to make quick important decisions at the same time. Most student do not do the 12 credit full time either. Most that want to do the programs in two year end up doing 15 to 18 credit semesters. This is like working a part time and a full time job together and that dose not even include family. School is definitively harder in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI see quite a few transitions here, but I do believe you could have a wider variety of them. Also, before "For example," be sure to include a comma, not a semi-colon. In addition, I don't think "however" is being used correctly in the last sentence.
ReplyDelete